Celebrations… without libations

Last week Cody and I announced our amazing news that we are expecting our first baby bean!

It was the day of my girlfriend Kim’s baby shower – the entire day I had felt so sick, tired and dizzy. I went to her shower with my other love, Ashley, by my side, smiled and cooed at all the adorable blankets and stuffies, all the while thinking about the day she would get to hold her baby boy in her arms. She would make an amazing mother, and all these women where there surrounding her and supporting her.

I excused myself early. I was ready for my bed, but had cleaning to do and dinner to make.

As I was preparing dinner, I thought and calculated as to why I would be feeling so crappy…and suddenly it came to my mind…it wasn’t a tumor…It was a little bundle of something growing in my belly slowly exhausting me.

I had planned before how I would tell Cody and suddenly it all melted away, I screamed, cried and jumped up and down, then ran outside to tell Cody the news.

Best. Feeling. Ever.

Cody has always told me he wanted to be a daddy. I remember a conversation when we first moved into our house 5 years earlier about how he could see us having a baby sooner rather than later. I wanted to wait, I wanted to be married and get into the groove of owning a house – but that conversation always stuck in the back of my mind.

To be able to tell him that he was going to be a daddy, and see the excitement flood his eyes will be a memory I forever hold dear.

Now, I am a researcher and I google EVERYTHING – and from previous searches I know that people, doctors, and other baby professionals tell you that you should wait until your 12th week to announce to the world that you are expecting – which I don’t understand.

Well, we didn’t wait. I called my mom and told her to come over. Cody called his dad and told him and then called his mom and told her. We wanted to share our news – and I am so happy we did! My mom has done this before. This will be her 5th pregnancy announcement coming from one of her daughters, but the hug I got was one of the tightest I have ever had. Cody’s mom screamed for joy and still has not stopped telling me how happy she is. I told my sisters right away, because that was one reaction I was BEYOND excited to experience. In our group of friends, we are one of the…actually, we are the last couple to have a baby (2015 will forever be known as the year of love with all the weddings and babies), so we immediately announced to our friends too.

We told our family, and our friends and then when we hit 12 weeks, we announced it to the Facebook world.

The thought behind holding off until the 12th week is because a miscarriage is more common during the first trimester, but for me, I thought if something happens, and this feeling of love and joy (which is also known as nausea) goes away, then I am going to need support. I am going to want to talk about it, I am going to want to try to get through it, and work through it.

Why was I waiting 12 weeks for something bad to happen instead of celebrating something good? The something good right now! I am pregnant! I GOT PREGNANT! Suddenly every neurologist who told me that there was a high chance that this could not happen, it happened. All the doctors appointments and the wishing and waiting – it happened.

This week we announced to Facebook AND I celebrate two years seizure free. I am counting my blessings, and holding my belly tight.

Cody and I are beyond excited to start the next chapter of our life, and we and can’t wait to share our journey with you all!

~ Jacqui and Baby Bean ❤

Reflecting: 27’s lessons

Last week, I did something I have been wanting to do and have been anxiously anticipating for a very, very long time.

I turned 28.

Celebrating at Dad's with my nephew

Celebrating at Dad’s with my nephew

The way I look at it, getting older (not old), aging (gracefully, of course), and taking another trip around the sun are the blessings of another year of opportunity for growth and nothing to be worried or stressed out about. I look forward to my birthdays more now than I did when I was younger and as cheesy as it sounds, I am truly finding that life – and myself in a way – keeps getting better with every kilometer in said yearly trip.

There are many things that I have learned, gained and experienced in my preceding years that I am thankful for, struggled through, fought hard for and am blessed to have. Some of the challenges brought by my 27th year in particular could safely categorize it as a hard one and definitely not one of my favourites, but there were SO many amazing highlights, people added, friendships improved, and forgiveness granted that I can’t bring myself to curse 27 for any of the bruises as a result of the hiccups.

I’m starting to get the sneaking suspicion that there is a direct correlation between the toughness of the year and the quality of the lessons to be learned when you’re looking for them. That being said, 27 abundantly blessed me with a few, very specific lessons, arming me with some pretty kick-ass knowledge for 28 and the next chapter of my life:

  • Come clean when you mess up. You’ll be surprised how much forgiveness the hearts that love you are capable of granting. Even more amazing, is that when someone overlooks your shortcomings, it teaches you a lesson in humility to apply when other people mess up with you.
  • Stay open. Stay open to new experiences, relationships, people that come into (and depart from) your life, career opportunities (no matter how they turn out…), lessons about God/the type of faith you are capable of, and the continuous exploration, play, and being in the ‘now’. Stay open to it all.
  • Be grateful. No matter what was experienced in this past year, if I took a step back to reflect, in every disappointment there absolutely was always something to be grateful for. Sometimes the gratefulness is harder to maintain if a few heartaches pile on all at once; however gratitude is necessary to keep perspective when it gets overwhelming. If anything has saved my ass and sanity, this lesson would be it.
  • Quality wins over quantity. Every time. This goes for the friendships/relationships you choose to have, to the food you eat and fuel your body with, the encounters and moments you have with the people that matter most to you, right down to your workouts, fitness and health. I have become hyper aware of this quality lately in one friendship in particular – it doesn’t matter if we see each other for 5 minutes, or 5 hours, if we see each other once a week, or once in 105 days – every hang out leaves my heart full and looking forward to the next time our crazy lives allow us time to get together. Regardless of whether we’re just going along for the drive to keep each other company, or laughing and talking about all of life’s adventures over drinks – it’s all about the quality and it leaves me wanting the same in every aspect of my life. This is one of my favourite lessons of 27.

I am so excited for 28 and 2014 as a whole. In our inner circle it has appropriately been coined ‘the year of love’ – totally fitting in so many ways. Babies, weddings, celebrations galore!

My man surprised me with suite tickets to the Toronto Raptors game!

My man surprised me with suite tickets to the Toronto Raptors game!

I had an incredible birthday this year and am looking forward to a killer 28! Cheers to the year of love!

~ Toni