A retail Christmas

If any of you lovely readers have ever worked retail during the Christmas season, you know how much of a mixed blessing it is. There are moments of joy, moments of frustration, and moments of embarrassment.

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You get to see families shopping, you get to see significant others trying to find the perfect present for their person, and you get to see friends shopping together. When you have little people running around your legs, running to Mommy or Daddy, asking if this would be a good present, it is just a downright cute kind of season. You get to help those girlfriends, boyfriends, husbands, wives, partners, etc. trying find that perfect gift, the one that they saw online, and called in, because your store has it! It’s sweet that you see the love in their eyes when you hand over that thing they were looking for and you get to see how excited they are that they get to check this off their list. Friends shopping together is always fun to see – they have a different language than the rest of the world. And the jokes that fly at each other…always entertaining. Especially when you see the looks on random passersby.

The moments of frustrations are met with a flushed face and a calm stance. Trying to soothe emotions during the holidays? You might as well be trying to diffuse a bomb in Times Square. You are blamed for things that have nothing to do with you and have everything to do with ordering. You try to stay calm and find a solution, but when you have to say no?

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Might as well stand in front of the firing squad right now for all the help you are! I try and think of something that is completely away from the store I work at, and think of something nice, or what this person if going through…because if they are yelling at me, there has got to be something else wrong out in their universe. I try and mend the situations, and if I can’t help, hand it over to a higher up, which again is frustrating.

I am embarrassed at least once a day every day, but at work it is especially embarrassing. Say you almost fall off a ladder? Red face. Say you are lifting that heavy stacks of books and a toot slips out? Quickly look around, and hope like hell your coworker isn’t beside you, in the next aisle, or anywhere within earshot! What if they are? Red face. Finally get those gold embossed mugs in your manager has been trying to get in, and what happens? Drop it on another cup and cue the red face.

I think the hardest part of working in the land of retail during the holidays is that everyone is frazzled, and in the end it is your job to keep a level head and do everything you can. Is the customer always right? No, but they are right to themselves, and that is all they care about. So the job is to do your best, whatever that could be, and try not to crack or rip anything.

~ Andreah

5 Struggles only busty girls will get

While there are certain advantages to being ‘chesty‘, there are also quite a few downfalls to this genetic trademark the ladies of my family are all too familiar with:

1. Physical activity: Running, jumping jacks, trampolines, burpees, jumping in general, horse back riding, speed boating…really bouncing of any kind is dangerous, tends to hurt and is hard to control with even the most state of the art sports bras money can buy. Which leads me to my next point…

2. Shopping: button up shirts, bathing suits, bras, sports bras, thick knit sweaters, cowel neck anything, dresses. Being busty means that all of the listed items (and more I am sure if I spent enough time thinking about it) are difficult/impossible to purchase. If it’s not v-neck – but not too deep of a v-neck or else you risk being scandalous – you can’t buy it and don’t even think about wearing a sweatshirt or you risk looking like a blob with no definition from your collar bone to hip bone. It’s always a relief when you are able to find a store that carries items of this nature that can be made to work and you’ll buy one in every colour.

3. Stomach sleeping: I am a stomach sleeper – more precisely, I am a modified stomach sleeper. I miss being able to sleep flat on my tummy. Now, I have to do the one hip and one shoulder prop with support of a pillow or a Michael, or a gathered duvet, or sometimes even a giant puppy. I have been known to forget/have a temporary lapse of sanity and attempt to bring back the tummy sleep. I am quickly reminded how uncomfortable it is and have to adjust.

4. Seatbelts: You would think that the height adjustment capability in most later model vehicles would have been the saving grace for us chestier ladies when it comes to the battle of the belt. I regret to inform you, it did not. Regardless of which notch the height is set at, it is never quite comfortable directly across your chest. It falls in between the ladies, it slides underneath them, it slips on top of them – that damn thing wanders all over, never really convincing me it will be able to do its job should I happen to need it.

5. Eye contact or lack thereof: I guess boobs are like unicorns, because some people stare at them as though they are such rarities to encounter. I cannot count the number of times I’ve argued in my head between irritably thinking “I have eyes you know”, and “Shit, there could be a stain on my shirt” while talking to someone who has displayed the inability to keep their eyes from wandering. A quick glance I can understand. But setting up camp and living there all day? That is just unacceptable.

~ Toni