I just don’t understand

With the approaching Friday being celebrated as Halloween, it’s no wonder I find myself shielding my eyes and gasping in horror at an increased rate of gory and demonic movie previews, advertisements for terrifying haunted hayrides and even crazier haunted houses.

I just don’t understand.

Michael often tries to chide me into going to see the latest scary movie in a theater full of people where I cannot nonchalantly remove myself (multiple times) if I can’t handle it, or drag me to Canada’s Wonderland to voluntarily put myself in an uncomfortable state of panic by having strangers chase me around in a dimly – if at all – lit, scary-ass house/structure. It doesn’t fly. Ever.

It’s because I just don’t understand.

And don’t get me wrong, I get the appeal of being a little on edge and have yourself feel a little vulnerable…a LITTLE. I have even attempted to watch my fair share of scary movies. I either end up seeking refuge in a pillow or burrowing my head behind Michael. I have even left the room and refused to come back until the movie was turned off. I have requested multiple lights to be turned back on in the house. I especially cannot handle movies involving possession, demons or spirits. Just no.

Can’t do it. Nu-uh. No way. Because WHY?!

And I won't finish it.

And I won’t finish it.

I have even attempted and COMPLETED a haunted hay ride and maze. At night.

It turned out for me just about the same way it did for Andy and Amy when Ellen sent them through their first haunted house together:

I swore a little bit more. Okay, a lot more. And I may have been slightly impaired, but just a teensy bit. For real, just a teensy bit.

I feel the same way about these activities and this time of year in general, as I do about roller coasters.

I have completed what I feel is a good sample set of them and have determined I do not enjoy the feeling of anxiety and increased level of stress due to holding on, literally, for my life that is accompanied with the ride. Add in the long lines, usually in the sweltering heat, and the adrenaline crash I without fail will endure at the end of said rides – after any high stress altercation, really – and it just doesn’t seem enjoyable or worth it to me. What is the point?

I just don’t understand.

Maybe my feelings about the eerie, chilling things of this season stem back to the sisterhood’s upbringing – where things of this nature were not really present or welcome in our home. A home where Halloween was not celebrated or noted – it was just another day. It could be because we were raised to understand and respect the worlds beyond the physical, to not egg them on, tease or tempt them. These things I do understand.

It could be all of these things and more.

Or it could be that I just don’t understand.

~ Toni

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Guest post – How many pins could a pinner nail if a pinner could nail Pinterest?

Julia’s sister-in-law and the Sisterhood’s honourary fifth sister, Kim, is back again with another guest post, this time tackling Pinterest! 

Pinterest is a bully.

It’s that snotty kid in third grade that had better clothes, better accessories and better hair and made sure that everyone knew about it. It shows you cute and easy things to add to your ever growing list of things life already demands and says, just one more finishing touch and this will be perfect. You will be perfect. It makes stay-at-home moms look bad for not doing these cutesy crafts with their kids every second of the day and it fuels the anxiety-ridden masses to push harder and set the bars unrealistically high.

Plus, it’s a liar.

How many times have you tried to replicate something you’ve seen and fallen short of the desired outcome? Often times this can be because of user error, failure to read the instructions, failure to include instructions or the fact that we just aren’t meant to build a 3D paper model of the Eiffel tower. Actually, it looks super easy as long as you have the right tools…

With Halloween right around the corner and a skeptic heart, I decided to try some popular decorating ideas and see what happens. Oh my, indeed.

First up: Frankenstein pudding cups.

They look pretty standard so I didn’t even bother to pull up the photo for reference. Whoops! Had I done that, I may have realized I needed an Oreo cookie topping or that even a chocolate cake crumb topping would have sufficed.

So I gathered my supplies and set to work.

Pinterest - Frankenstein set up

Instructions:

  1. Draw faces on the cups with permanent markers
  2. Follow the pudding instructions and add green food colouring
  3. Put the pudding into the cups and sprinkle on your topping

My first thought was that these would be awesome for a classroom party or even as an office treat. What I didn’t realize was that one box of pudding only makes 4 – ½-cup servings. So either parents everywhere are going to stock up on pudding and cause a global shortage OR parents are going to be sending in tiny pudding shots to their children’s classroom parties. It’s rather fussy, so just eat your damn pudding the normal way!

As a side note, if you are going to make these, make sure your cups are plain and don’t have any designs on them like mine do.

Pinterest - Frankenstein finished

Next up: Jell-O worms.

Despite the fact that these worms actually look like worms (gross!) I was picturing mine to be more like a gummy worm and opted for green Jell-O.

Pinterest - Worms set up

Instructions:

  1. Follow the Jell-O instructions
  2. Secure straws with a rubber band
  3. Pour Jell-O into the straws
  4. Once set they should slide right out.

Being cocky got me into some trouble as I didn’t read the instructions, and although I couldn’t figure out how the Jell-O would stay in the straws I continued anyways.

Fingers crossed!

Fingers crossed!

Then this happened.

Pinterest - Worms finished product

It turns out that after making the Jell-O as per usual, you need to add whipping cream and you MUST use bendy straws or it won’t work. Oh well, just boring regular Jell-O for now. I can see this one being a pain in the ass so I’ll just stick to buying my gummy worms from the Bulk Barn.

And finally, I thought I would try the melted crayon pumpkin.

Instructions:

  1. Lay down a garbage bag or newspaper to place your pumpkin on
  2. Peel off the papers on the crayons
  3. Glue crayons around the base of the stem
  4. Use a hairdryer on low to melt the crayons

Pinterest - Pumpkin set up

There are a few things I’d like to say about this one. I was going to use the crazy glue to stick the crayons on, but after fighting with a sewing needle to pierce the opening and then the pliers to free the sewing needle, I discovered that the entire tube was dry.

So I thought I would just melt the crayons enough with the hairdryer to make them stick to the pumpkin that way. I now have third-degree burns on my fingers.  *Tip: Use a glue gun instead. I have 2!*

Also, it said to only use half a crayon, but I thought it looked a little sparse so I used the whole thing. Wow, crayon overload. And it does say specifically to use the hairdryer on low, but I became impatient and turned it on high. It goes so much faster, but it also makes the hot crayon spray in random directions. Needless to say I involuntarily waxed my legs in a few spots.

Pinterest - Pumpkin final product

I wasn’t overly impressed with the end result, because in the end I’m going to have to carve it and clean it anyways, so this one was kind of a waste too.

In conclusion, I spent my entire evening trying to complete these crafts for the Halloween season and, to be honest, I hate this holiday.

Also, Emma needs more crayons.

~ Kim

If you’d like to write a guest post and join in the Weather Vane Sisterhood fun, email us at weathervanesisterhood at gmail dot com. We’d love to have you!