Adventures into a great perhaps

When I was young I thought I knew everything.

I thought I knew exactly what I wanted, and thought I knew what exactly my future would hold.

I was never going to have children.

That so changed when my nieces came into the world, ripping apart what I thought and making me feel completely different about kids.

I was never getting married.

Not only did I not think I would never find someone, and that I would be alone for most, to all, of my life, I thought I would just never feel like it was necessary.

“It’s just a piece of paper, it doesn’t have any true meaning to me!”

Well, when I met Joe, that all changed. I realized that I actually found someone who I wouldn’t mind having that piece of paper with, I actually want to be tied to this man for the rest of my life. When I came to the realization, I felt it was necessary to talk to Joe about it. We had both said when we started our relationship that we wouldn’t be getting married, but if we decided to spend the rest of our lives together, we could just do it with out all that.

“Joe, I have something to tell you.”

“What is it sweetie?”

“I think I one day I want to marry you.”

“That may not work, because I know one day I am going to marry you.”

“Oh, okay!”

Which then brings me to a new chapter of our story.

We went on a new adventure. We went to Nova Scotia! Joe, my best friend Elena, and Joe’s cousin Mike all piled into Elena’s car and drove (just for the weekend) all the way to Nova Scotia!

We arrived!!

We arrived!

It is an amazing and beautiful province. Seriously, if you can, please go visit.

We stopped at the information centre, and Elena talked to a lady about where we should go and show the boys the ocean, the most beautiful body of water (which I have a sort of love affair with). After a lot of debate, and figuring out where exactly we were going to stay for the one night, we had it all figured out – we were on our way to Peggy’s Cove.

Peggy's Cove is one of the most photographed landmarks in Canada!

Peggy’s Cove is one of the most photographed landmarks in Canada

After 1-2 more hours of driving, we finally arrived at our destination. We all got out of the car, done our journey for a little bit. Me and Elena then took off, quickly made our way up the rocks while the boys lagged behind. I wanted to see my ocean! I had missed it since we left P.E.I. last summer and I wanted to see it now!

I got to a beautiful spot and sat down waiting for Joe. Because I know how nervous he is around heights, I didn’t sit too close to the edge.

When he finally got to the top where I was sitting, we sat and cuddled for a little while enjoying the breathtaking view. But Joe was shaking like a leaf! I thought it was the height and the slight (15-20 ft) drop onto more rocks. Or the fact that the waves have been know to engulf the rocks we were currently sitting on, and we could then be dragged out into the ocean.

“You don’t have to be nervous Joe! You are up here with me!”

“I know,” he said, his voice shaking too. I just cuddled in closer, hoping that he would stop being so nervous. I mean, there was nothing to be afraid of! Nothing bad was going to happen! Then I decided to be a smart a**.

“You know, it is so beautiful up here, it would be an amazing place to propose!” I said, cheekily nudging him.

The View of my Ocean!

The view of my ocean

He turned his head, and gave me this smug smile, and started reaching into his pocket. I gave him a questioning look thinking There is no way…

As he pulled his hand out of his pocket, he opened it up and said;

“Andreah Lynn Laurentino, will you marry me?”

Sitting in his hand was the ring I had admired last year at an antique barn. I then burst into tears, “Yes! Yes, of course I’ll marry you!”

We both laughed and hugged and kissed. I just kept thinking that this can’t be true! I can’t be so lucky!

Meanwhile, Elena and Mike were in on it of course, so they grabbed the champagne Elena had brought and we toasted to our future, and to the amazing moment they all helped make possible.

I never thought it would happen to me.

I get to marry one of my best friends! And I couldn’t be happier or more overjoyed! I clearly know nothing about the future, and as long as I can face it with him, I don’t care.

Joe on the Ocean floor at the Bay of Fundy! My Fiance!

Joe on the ocean floor at the Bay of Fundy. My Fiance!

 

~ Andreah

Signing up for the mess

There was a time about 4-5 years ago, before I had this ring on my left hand, when Cody and I were seriously considering having children. Before marriage, against the grain. We were already living with each other, bought our house and wanted to start “The Rest of Our Lives.” Marriage was the “Next Step,” but for some reason we wanted babies first. I longed to be a mother, and hearing that Cody was just as excited as I was to have babies meant more than a proposal; it meant together forever – a part of Cody.

Then reality hit us: we were young, we had one vehicle, we were in debt with the house, I was in debt from school. We didn’t want to be at home all the time when our friends were still very young. And most of all, we didn’t want to regret each other, we still had growing to do in our relationship – I mean we weren’t ready for marriage but we were more than ready for a baby? We were crazy!

I was not ready for late nights that were not late because I chose them to be.

I was not ready to ask Cody for a shower because I was too busy with the baby and couldn’t get one in until he got home.

I was not ready for poo on my face…

Sweetie you have shit on your face

Sweetie, you have shit on your face.

 

I was not ready.  Or was I scared…

I was scared. I was scared I would never be able to have a baby the conventional way, that I wouldn’t be able to feel a baby in my belly, that the medication I was on would never allow me to have these ups and downs of pregnancy. That even if I did get pregnant, I wouldn’t be able to carry it to term because of a seizure, that I would be on bed rest as soon as I peed on that stick.

So, I decided to focus on getting healthy, for me and for Cody and my family of the future, and I put that feeling in the pit of my stomach, the maternal need, on the back burner.

Then we were asked to write this post, and I dug those feelings back up. These are the same feelings that make me happy for all 6 of the women I work with, all of which are in my department that are expecting. The same feelings I have when I pick out baby outfits for one of my best friends.

I want to be a mother, I want the messy, tired, exhausted, blessed, loving life of a mother. The one where you ask your significant other to take the baby for 5 minuets while you hop in the shower. The one where you fall asleep with your baby in your arms. Where the days melt together.

I am healthy and I am ready…if you can ever be ready.

~ Jacqui