Directionally challenged

The other night I went out, phone in hand as always.I have had this phone long enough that it no longer has a warranty, but not so long that I get mindless stares because it is obsolete when I pull it out in public. It’s an iPhone so it pretty much became the oldest model as soon as it was put on the shelf to purchase.

My battery was at 20 percent, to other iPhone users this is about the time you try to locate a power source. No? Just my trusty hardware? Okay then.

I didn’t sweat it, the place I was going I had been three times before, once I even drove. So I should know where I am going …if I wasn’t directionally challenged!

I got in the truck, turned on my GPS and headed out.

Humming along with the radio and cautiously listening for my male Siri adviser to direct my course because the female version has told me what to do long enough, I noticed my phone light flicker and then the ominous circle of death showed its ugly face as my phone turned off.

There I was phone-less, and suddenly thoughtless. Where was I going? Did I remember the address? Could I some what make my way and then ask for directions once I got closer? Would people know how to give directions these days? Did I just say these days? WHAT IS HAPPENING!!!!

I couldn’t do it – I had to go back. I had to turn around to go and get a car charger. I needed to tell the person I was meeting that I would be late. In order to do that I would need my phone! What did we do before cell phones? Carrier pigeons!?!

Now I was in a full on panic!!!

Calm down – I can do this, I just need a plan!

Step One: Turn around and SPEED home to minimize amount of time I would be without said phone

Step C: Get charger and plug phone in. Wait until phone turns on again and advise acquaintance of my tardiness due to phone being a piece of junk. That’s right this is all the phones fault…right? My dependency is not my fault!

Step V : Put co-ordinates into GPS and SPEED to said destination.

Final Step: Figure out how I handled life without a phone!!!!!!

I bought my own phone in the 10th grade. It was a pay as you go Telus phone which you could purchase unlimited text messaging for 10$ as long as you had money on it to make calls. This is really all I wanted it for. One more way to keep in constant communication with my boyfriend at the time. Silly naive Jacqui.

I quickly upgraded to a real phone as soon as I turned 18 and didn’t need a parent to sign for one. My very first flip phone with a qwerty keyboard. It was blue and SO EXPENSIVE! Silly younger Jacqui.

Then came my first Blackberry, because I was a middle aged man needing to keep in contact with my partners at the firm and monitor my portfolio (ha!) at all times.  I was important… it was white with a pink case. I was bad-ass!

I have become, no our society has become addicted to constantly being available! Thats right if I am going down you are alllll coming with me! Blogging, Facebooking, Tweeting, messaging, pinning, emailing. It’s amazing and yet so CRAZY at the same time!  We share too much, in too many places as long as there is a device or piece of technology involved we think it is okay to spout what ever nonsense we want. Real face to face interaction has slowly become a rarity as we all have our heads buried in our devices whether they be an Android, iPhone, Blackberry or blueberry!

What’s even more ironic is that I am spouting off my dependency of technology on our online blog… but I am still going to continue my rant.

I am the worst for this! I stare at a computer all day at work only to come home and stare at my phone.

There was a post on Facebook that I read which stated “If you were offered 3 million dollars, and all you had to do was not go on Facebook, Twitter or use your cellphone could you do it?”

I would like to think I could live without my phone, but I proved to myself on last Wednesday that I couldn’t.

I have since then purchased an up to date map. You know the ones you see in movies from a decade ago. They still exist! I KNOW, I was shocked too! I have also tried to set a goal of cutting down my social media time by an hour  per day for the first week. I am hoping by the end of the month my phone is not my third hand.

I am also going to put it away when I am with friends and family and focus on what is happening in front of me instead of what is going on in the land of Facebook or even through a lens.

Wish me luck – and know I am not ignoring you. Or am I…. now you will never know.

 

~ Jacqui

 

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Expect the unexpected

I had a plan for this week’s blog post – a recap of the date night Ben and I had Friday, complete with pictures. And then, Sophie happened. She put our BlackBerry into a bucket of water. On the BlackBerry, all the pictures from our date night…bye, bye pictures…bye, bye blog post.

Prognosis? I hope it'll be okay.

BlackBerry hospital made of rice. Prognosis? I hope it’ll be okay.

Don’t worry. Sophie’s still alive.

I was more distressed by the fact that Lillian had pooped in our backyard. There are few things as disconcerting as watching your three-year old dropping something brown out of her bathing suit bottoms. I asked what she was doing and it didn’t get any better. She answered, “I put the poop on the ground.” Great. What poop? From where? Did you pick it up? Is it yours? GAH.

I should have known not to expect things to go as planned…the day hadn’t gone as planned. We were supposed to go to a family gathering at our Aunt and Uncle’s, but due to the fun weather forecast (rainy and cold) it was postponed until an August date. Because of that, Ben was able to go help a dear friend move and I got to spend all day with CRAZY, phone-ruining, lawn-pooping children.

Ben came home to me losing it with Sophie because she was berating me over dinner. She wanted hamburgers, I couldn’t find the ones she was talking about, it was getting late, I needed her to eat and she was mad that I was making her eat homemade beef stew over mashed potatoes instead of her beloved hamburgers (also homemade). Isaac had been sobbing at my feet while I finished making dinner and Lillian had been running around dragging blankets, balloons, and various plastic (read: SHARP) toys through the kitchen the whole time I was trying to accomplish food prep. I was done. Cooked.

Earlier in the afternoon, the southwestern sisters had made plans to go for dinner together in lieu of seeing each other at Aunt and Uncle’s house. I was SO excited. SO ready to get out of the house, eat dinner I didn’t make, dirty dishes I didn’t have to clean, and not be around tiny tyrants anymore.

I know...I know...I did this to myself. I KNOW.

I know…I know…I did this to myself. I KNOW.

And then…this happened…

SERIOUSLY?!

SERIOUSLY?!

I decided I should probably be responsible and NOT abandon my family just for some grown-up time. So I ate the delicious stew and mashed potatoes with my tiny army (and Ben! He came home! He came home!). It was yummy and I was resigned.

But then…the tornado warnings ended. So I called (because no texting for me! The BlackBerry is in RICE, remember?) Toni, and she, Jacqui and I went out for coffee and dessert. We sat on the covered patio of Brown Dog Coffee Shoppe (SO AMAZING), overlooking and overhanging the river, watching the lightening show and listening to the torrential rain (or as Toni called it, her very own WATERFALL!). Decaf coffee, cheesecake and apple fritters, and sister therapy. All in all, a not-too-shabby end to the day.

I know as a parent I’m supposed to be the queen of dealing with the unexpected, of rolling with the punches and putting up with the randomness that goes hand-in-hand with having babies, but some days, maybe even just one day, I would love for the expected to happen…for the plan to go smoothly…for that to be the surprise…not the waterlogged cell phone or the poop on the lawn. Just for one day.

*UPDATE – The BlackBerry LIVES!!! It’s ALIVE!!!! It’s a MIRACLE!!! 😉

~ Julia