“Leaving in 15…”

I am almost always late for work. I don’t know if you remember from previous posts, but I literally work next door to my house. Seriously…

Seriously....

Seriously….

My manager loves it when I call in, so much so that she has memorized my number from her call display. I have told her many times, that I can either wear pants or be on time…she has to choose. Have fun explaining it to HR when I come in wearing no pants! ” BUT SHE WAS ON TIME!” she will yell as she is being escorted out of the office.

To my defense, it is because I am so close to office that I am always late. I look at the clock and think, “I can make it to work in 2 minutes; I will just run.” HA! Run – I don’t run. I can barely walk properly. So therefore me being late is a safety precaution, as in it’s for my own safety I am late. This too HR can not argue over.

19 Socially Awkward Situations For People Who Are Always Late

While I am always late for work, for which I could be dismissed for being late, I try my hardest to not be late for events with family or friends. There are many reasons as to why I don’t like being late, but mainly it’s because I hate when people are late to things I have planned.

I, like, two of my other sisters, do not have children. One of the many perks of having children is having a built-in excuse for tardiness. No one will be upset with you as you walk into a birthday party or family Christmas late, toting a screaming child on your hip. No one would dare…they simply take the screaming child away from you and then quickly offer you a stiff beverage of the caffeinated or alcoholic variety.

Any tardiness can just be blammed on little Timmy who went down for a nap right before you were supposed to leave, and you wouldn’t dare suggest that the mother of three terrorists wake one up only to upgrade their terrorist status to tyrant! And then request that they shove said tyrant into their car seat and drag him to the party. You would be crazy! You would be exiled, removed from the family.

I like to keep my life, therefore I do not bother asking the status or whereabouts of Julia and her family. I just know that they will show up at some point. I say this with love! As someone who has taken care of all three of her children, and has been around children my whole life, I like them a lot better when they are happy, and if being late assists in their level of happiness…then late away!

When you do not have any children though, it gets hard to take your “Leaving in 15” or “On my way” text messages seriously when everyone knows you mean “Still finding pants to match the shirt I wanted to wear to this event, but I am not totally sold on the shirt either. So pretty much I am not dressed, and yes I woke up on time and this event was at 4 pm, but I wanted to not do anything for the first 7 hours of the day…so I’ll be there soon…ish…again when I find the earrings to match the pants…and oh yeah, I took off the shirt I mentioned in the first sentence because these pants go with these earrings, so now I have to find a shirt.”

Image result for memes about being late

It gets to a point when people start to tell you to be somewhere earlier than you need to be. Then you are at an impasse. When you show up on time for wherever it is you need to be, and realize that the party or event has only just started, then you know that they know that you are always late…

Life is rough when you choose to always be late, because it is a choice. You chose to sleep in/go to breakfast with other people/drive that person around/pick up groceries before you came. Make your choices wisely people. Now excuse me while I go find pants.

~ Jacqui

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