The perks of being busty

It’s no secret that my sisters and I are well-endowed when it comes to our breast size. While in my case a strong passion for fitness has left me with much smaller than my previous size F boobs, I still levelled out with a decent size pair and consider myself somewhat of an expert in this area.

Normally when a fellow gal pal laments how lucky I am to have an above average breast size, I launch into the list of how much pain my back is in, how I hate not being able to go braless in adorable tops and dresses that require such lack of undergarment, that boys drool and girls are mean because of them, that in a sister-fight they are the first things grabbed, pinched or punched and that sometimes people assume something about you because you have above average amount of cleavage.

Always offering to hook a girl up

Always offering to hook a girl up

Really the complaints list is exhaustive and I could go on, however there are quite a few  perks that come along with them that you don’t really consider unless you have large boobs:

1. Never underestimate the power of a curve: The persuasiveness I seem capable of when the girls are used in the right situations and scenarios is astounding. Really. Michael and I have been together well over 7 years and needless to say he has seen them his fair share. However, if I need to, I can still give the suggestive lean in and smirk to persuade him to fill-in-blank-favour-or-request-here and my close rate is still sky high. I’ve also managed to keep my driving abstract considerably clean and while it might be my quick-wit and natural sales ability, I’ve never had to play the tears card and strongly attribute it to the perfect amount of cleavage. The magic can be applied to fussy babies too – having a soft, built-in pillow ready for them when they desperately need a nap has come in handy on a few occasions with our boob-man of a nephew.

All better!

All better!

2. Emergency storage: It happens without fail, every single time I indulge on popcorn at the movie theatre. When it comes time to get ready for bed, I will have an impressive amount of popcorn tucked away in my bra for a midnight snack. This is usually an amplified realization if the evening has also included alcohol, and will promptly be consumed. While the Hansel and Gretel emergency trail of food is not usually on purpose, the advantage to being able to tuck other items into my bra for discreet transport is. If I ever require a tampon/lip gloss/stick of concealer/mickey of liquor and don’t want to or can’t take my whole purse with me, I can easily slide the required item into my bra without detection.

3. Quality over quantity: If you weren’t aware, there is a son of a bitch conspiracy called bra size discrimination when it comes time to shop for a bra. All the inexpensive, tiny strapped, cute and comfortable looking cotton bras aren’t made in my size. I have no other choice but to fork out the deniros for the much more expensive bras. The perk to this is that you are usually getting a better quality, more resilient bra anyways and they’re more likely to last longer. Sometimes to compensate for the lack of styles available in larger sizing, stores often offer a wider range of colours and patterns meaning when you find a bra that works, you can buy it in every colour! Also, you’ll never get caught falsely advertising – there’s no room in a large breasted woman’s bra for +3 cup sizes worth of padding, meaning you get what you see.

Via bustygirlcomics.com

Via bustygirlcomics.com

4. Saving thousands: One of Michael’s favourite reminders when I’m having a particularly frustrating boob day is that there are thousands of women who pay thousands of dollars to have what I was given naturally. Point taken.

5. Stand in shelf: The number of items that can be supported by my chest is a perk for sure. Total hands-free media anyone? I can rest a book, a tablet, or even food on them if I so choose.When bringing in groceries, it’s easier to support an un-bagged item between my chin and chest, meaning I have more room in my hands to attempt to carry all the bags into the house in one shot.

Via bustygirlcomics.com

Via bustygirlcomics.com

As with all things about my body, I’m learning to love them, in all their glory and natural state. Remember, big or small, natural or not, all breasts are beautiful.

~ Toni

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2 thoughts on “The perks of being busty

  1. Pingback: 5 Struggles only busty girls will get | Weather Vane Sisterhood

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